Glad and cheerful, let us say, as we go to our rest: ‘I have finished living; I have run the course that fortune set for me’. If God gives us another day, let us receive it with joy. The happiest person, who owns himself more fully, is the one who waits for the next day without anxiety. Anyone who can say, ‘I have had my life’ rises with a bonus, receiving one more day. – Seneca, Letters, 12.9.
Meditation:
1.Situation. What is the upsetting situation that you’re imagining?
That my little stray cat gets run over by a car , a very likely situation.
2.Emotions. How does it make you feel when you picture it as if it’s happening right now? How strong is the feeling (0-100%)?
I walk out of the door and see him lying in the street , he is still a little alive and i cry my eyes out as i call animal ambulance. He dies in my arms , i cry. When i picture this i get really upset and start crying , the feeling is about 80%
3.Duration. How long (in minutes) did you manage to sit with it and patiently expose yourself to the event in your imagination?
I managed to repeat the scenario for about 5 minutes in my head and changed the script a few times.
4.Consequence. How strong was the upsetting feeling at the end (0-100%)? What else did you feel or experience by the end?
The feeling was about 30% and i also noticed a sense of peace coming over me , acceptance.
5.Analysis. Has your perspective changed on the upsetting event? Is it really as awful as you imagined? How could you potentially cope if it did happen? What’s under your control in this situation and what isn’t?
My perspective on the upsetting event and upsetting events have changed indeed, to just keep breathing and letting the emotions overwhelm me while it’s not really actually happening is a good training for when these things actually happen in real life
Yes it was really really awful , even just in my imagination , i think a beautiful little furball being run over by a car just seems unnecessarily cruel. I would cope if it happened , i would make sure he got taken care of real well.
Under my control would be to keep the cat inside and cut him of his hunting territory , i have already decided that i will not do that. So that is not an option. There is really very little under my control in this situation , so i accept it as a possible scenario.
This morning when the cat was meowing in the back yard , i felt this sense of happiness and greeted him with the happy feeling in my heart that today was a good day to spoil him , but then , every day is a good day to love the ones you love. It has made me realise that life is too short for fear of losing people. I will make the best of the time we have together
If anything this course has taught me that i cannot change what i cannot change , that i should put effort in virtues and not spend time on worries , revenge , hate in general.
But i already knew that. For a few months now i have been destroying my feelings over certain things , because as a Jedi i cannot live my life with regrets , unanswered love and other bullshit that distracts me from my duties. I am glad i did this course , it has made aware that i am on the good path , the Jedi path.
I also painfully realised loving someone is worth the pain , being in love with someone is not. It’s just a craving like anything else. So the love is still there , but the rest ? No thanks aint got time for complicated and unreachable love. Got Jedi stuff to do.
Waking up this morning was good , although i had a hangover , i look at my little stray cat and feel happiness with a hint of sadness , i might never be the Vulcan that i aspire to be , and might never be the Jedi that i crave to be so badly. But i will be grateful and i will live my life to the fullest. I will dedicate my life to being of service and i will read more …promise loll, even philosophy 😛
May the Force be with you ❤